So. I just had a talk with my grandma.
And...it gave me some hope.
I need to change my behavior. That's all I really need to do. And recently...I was in a very similar situation where I needed to change something fundamentally wrong with my behavior.
And that...actually made the path forward a lot clearer.
I'm going to be going away for the rest of the week. I promise...the IO that returns to this site will be a different, better person.
...I should probably make an actual comic detailing this. Later, though. I need to play some videogames to decompress for a bit.
Good morning.
...I see that the comic making fun of me is at the top of the hot comics...yay...
...That honestly does not feel great. Because now...even if they don't know it, pretty much the whole site is pointing and laughing at me.
...It's my fault at the end of the day. I've been thinking about this for a while now.
I have taken the advice I've been given into account, as well as my meditation on the situation.
And...well, I've realized some things.
First off, I'm delusional. That's the main point. I have this idea that I deserve recognition, because my ideas are great, and I worked hard on them, so I should be angry or upset if I'm denied that.
...This is, of course, wrong to think. The truth is...it really doesn't matter how good of a writer I am. The truth is, I'm an abrasive and difficult person. I sabatoge my own audience. I create plans that will never work out. I bail out on things too easily.
I'm the source of all my problems.
And I'm going to be honest! I don't know how to fix that! I'm trying, but I genuinely don't know!
And until I solve the problem that is myself...I can't succeed.
...So...yeah. That's my conclusion. I'd like to end on a more hopeful note, but...I really can't. Because these are problems that have been longstanding problems throughout my entire life. And I have no clue how to even start fixing them.
...Right then.
...I don't know what people think. I don't know if they enjoy my stories out of pity, or genuinely enjoy them. I don't know how to improve, and be a better person.
...I'm going to take the rest of the day contemplating what to do next. Though...I'll be away for all of next week, so I'll also be contemplating for then as well.
I'm sorry for everything I've done today.
OK. I'm trying to calm down right now, and do some damage control for my highly emotional and ill-thought out actions.
Listen. All I want right now is a discussion. I want a genuine, honest discussion about your thoughts and opinions on me and my stories. That's all I'm asking for.
I want to know how you really feel about my stories, because if I'm being honest, not knowing that makes it difficult to improve, and it gives me the impression that people only vote and repost my stories out of pity.
So please. Tell me what you really think. That's all I want.
Heh...no one cares.
A project I'm truly passionate about is cancelled, and no one has a word about it.
Because no one ever truly cared about The Flesh Factory. The only people who even came close just pitied me.
...Because my creations have never mattered to people, have they? It doesn't how hard I work, how hard I try...it's always going to flop.
...Why am I even still trying? That comic was the hardest I've worked on something in months, and it still flopped.
And no one. Even. Cares.
Don't you just love it when you make something you truly feel passionate about, an idea that lives inside your mind, desperately clawing its way out, and you devote so much energy and time to making it real, and then you have to beg and scream for it to get any attention at all? And even in your best efforts, it still ends up being what would be considered a flop compared to the standards of most, even compared to your other ideas that you feel a bit less passionate about?
I get it. The vote count doesn't dictate how good the comic is. But it does show how many people liked the comic. And honestly? This was just...really disheartening.
...I'm probably going to be busy for most of today anyway, so...I need some time to relax and recharge.
Comic I made that took me about an hour and a half to make that's the culmination of months of character building and gradual hints of lore: 6 votes
Comic I just found that is just a screenshot with text over it: 8 votes
Someone please just kill me already :D
(DISCLAIMER: PLEASE DON'T ACTUALLY KILL ME)